Hayy! I'm Intan Rabiatul Natasha a blogger from Klang, Selangor. I'm sorry if i took so much time to keep updating my blog. Currently studying at Unimas :D ;)
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I gain this template from This awesome girl. The header was made by me using the Photoshop CS4. I got the awesome font from Dafont and the awesome photo from WHI ;)
So it's my birthday
I was once said that I no longer have interest in celebrating my birthday. Well now not anymore. I finally found the joy in celebrating it. Basically not literally celebrate lah. LOL
I spent my birthday in the class and library and assignments, while my lover is not here in Kuching because he have something to settle kat Sibu.
But that's not the main point. Finally i dont really feel sad when it comes to my birthday. I felt like appreciated because actually there's a lot of people who actually care for me. More than I thought. When Kayy being the first one who wished me joy and happiness on my birthday, Rina came second. She should have slept on that hour but she decided to stay awake. Sometimes i felt guilty sebab salah sangka kat dia.
That makes me feel motivated and want to be 'me' more. Ya know what im saying? And then there's many of my long lost friends yang personally texted me and even my temporary roommates pun yang say 'happy birthday' to me.
You see? Tak ke mana pun bersedih tu. LOL
Taurus are known for their abilities to self-motivate themselves masa tengah sedih. Yes I agree. But now i have my special counselor now. Which is 10 years older than me. The most important part is, he is my boyfriend.
I am basically and finally moved on from the sad stories happened on my birthday. And thanks to them because they move their ass away from my life.
These past few years has been the worst to me but yeah, Im trying to improve it. I want to stay focus on my dreams and what gonna happen next will be the second in my thoughts.
Banyak actually nak tulis but next time maybe. Have two presentations for tomorrow. See ya.
How to start writing in this site of mine.? It is kinda awkward to begin after sometime. And as far as i can remember, it has been a year after what had happened.
I think I'm fucked up. The world is crazy and people are lunatics. All of them. Selfish people made me go through moments that i will have tears on cheek almost every seconds. And here I am.
I will be the most hypocrite person if I say i have nothing to regret. I regret most of things I've done. I regret being in love. I regret that I'm stupid and naive to believe in kindness anyone shown to me. Fuck it.
It has been a year since I started to live the way I live now. And I intend to put an end to it. I miss my dear old self. I know she is still here deep down there. But I was just too blind because of hatred and shits. The most stupidest thing is, I didnt took revenge, I've ruined myself. That's bloody stupid of me.
For sure, I would say the same to those who ever hurt me. They're stupid too. They have choices to be kind or bad. They chose to destroy me. I showered my love towards dear friends and whom I used to care but I get destroyed for their own benefit. That seems very political.
And sad too.
I would say that I've went through episodes of depression. Yes i was depressed thanks to my dear friends to help me go through those episodes. There are times I want to kill myself and restart everything and somehow i wish i can turn back the time because I dont want to mee the person who have ruined me.
Somehow I do want to take revenge on this sadness they've caused me. I just want to know how it feels.
A year ago, Im not a smoker nor a drunk. I wasnt even a party person. Now i dont know how to get out from it.
Apparently, temporary happiness isnt worth long term pain. Not at all.